my thoughts

names
ass who made me feel bad- L
girl who helped - Z
Big Bro friend- B

I go through every day wondering if it worth it. I know it sounds like I'm becoming depressed and maybe I am but its hard for me to keep from blowing up at least once a day.

At the start of this week I fell out with a friend. L really made me feel bad about myself. He told me that I shouldn't use my past as an excuse for the way I act, personally, I didn't even know I was but hey! I ended up not eating for a day or two and feeling sick after meals and running to the toilet and I know, I should I've had the lecture, I have even given it to people but now I see where these people come from. For some weird reason sticking my fingers down my throat and puking made me feel better. I ended up talking to Z and she really helped. Pretty much she said that L was a dick and to not to listen to him. The funny thing is I didn't let it in the first place. I don't know why but lately I have just been feeling really, I don't know not myself??

These past few days have been bogging me down between just trying to find a reason to get up in the morning and trying to go to things such as church and work with my kidneys and back (that is another story for another day) . One of my very good friends who is like a big brother to me and deserves the biggest hugs tells me when I talk to him that 'I rock', or when I told him how people in my year calls me the 'freaky christian girl' he made me feel better about it or does something along the lines of that it makes me realise if I don't get up in the morning I really lose out on meeting the wonderful people like B.

Well I am sorry I have no words to think about
but I do have something you should think about
How many people in your life actually care enough to be like B for me??
How many people in your life treat you like L?? AND
How many people in your life can you turn to like Z??

SONGS TO LISTEN TO AND LOVE
Something Corporate- Heroine
Billy Talent- Honestly
Gregory & the Hawk - A wish
- boats & birds
- the point sometimes
Lanzlo- overkill
Jeff Buckley- Hallelujah
Newton Fawlkner -teardrop

As for a verse READ THE BIBLE AND FIND YOURR OWN!!!
Romans 5:5 is good cause it has a rap