OK I'm dying here. I have a smoke but I am trying not to smoke it gosh I'm falling so I'm gonna ramble on to take it off my mind.
The thoughts of going back to school actually terrifies me. I'm going back to my old school because of money worries (its closer which means no bus fairs and its cheaper in general) so I'm kinda scared people won't accept me and be annoyed I came back so I have this on my mind along with the thought of my junior cert results coming out and I can promise you I have failed something I don't know what but I did.
Ugh I hate being a girl. oh and to make things worse my step dad and Mum are snooping around this very laptop trying to see what I'm writing so of course I am being sly and shimmying around so they can't see it. Not very well I might add ha ha.
Well I guess if I want the rants not to find out I'm writting what I'm writting I should go
Guess Who
xoxo
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Smoking
So I was at a party last weekend (awesome party with a bonfire and tents). But I drank allot and I went back smoking! Bare in mind I was addicted for awhile in 1st year, and I've only had two, both after the party which I am proud to say was it! but none the less I have been so disappointed in my self since.
I think I went back cause I have been so distant from everyone lately, my friends, family, everyone and its kinda like relaxing or stress relieving or something. I actually really needed something I felt I was slipping or breaking. I dunno I guessed it just helped me find my way back....like I could breathe again which is kind of ironic....I guess the thing that doesn't help my lungs helped me breathe ha ha? Well I still don't feel fixed but it gave me strength to slowly get there. Time is all I need I think I've just become so depressed lately that I needed Hillary's to lift me outta my slump which it sorta did. So to everyone that was there and all who I hung out with aka...
Wez the complete legend of the night with his dance, yagerbombs, being so perfectly sweet, minding my freezing hands and being my pillow/blanket all night, and just being Wez in general.
Abby the lovely Abby so pretty with her Scottish accent, Hindu costume (without the dot), beers and being the only other girl there that I talked to when Hills was off socialising, you are amazing.
Andy and Bill (I think your names were) with their funny drunk stories, making fun of whatever I drank and the cocktails that so taste of alcohol its not even funny and you said "I can't taste it is there any drink in this" ha ha
a big thank you to you all for making it such a good night and taking me from my slump.
I think I went back cause I have been so distant from everyone lately, my friends, family, everyone and its kinda like relaxing or stress relieving or something. I actually really needed something I felt I was slipping or breaking. I dunno I guessed it just helped me find my way back....like I could breathe again which is kind of ironic....I guess the thing that doesn't help my lungs helped me breathe ha ha? Well I still don't feel fixed but it gave me strength to slowly get there. Time is all I need I think I've just become so depressed lately that I needed Hillary's to lift me outta my slump which it sorta did. So to everyone that was there and all who I hung out with aka...
Wez the complete legend of the night with his dance, yagerbombs, being so perfectly sweet, minding my freezing hands and being my pillow/blanket all night, and just being Wez in general.
Abby the lovely Abby so pretty with her Scottish accent, Hindu costume (without the dot), beers and being the only other girl there that I talked to when Hills was off socialising, you are amazing.
Andy and Bill (I think your names were) with their funny drunk stories, making fun of whatever I drank and the cocktails that so taste of alcohol its not even funny and you said "I can't taste it is there any drink in this" ha ha
a big thank you to you all for making it such a good night and taking me from my slump.
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